


Split minds think alike

by WhiteBeakedRaven



Series: of freedom and chains [3]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: ? - Freeform, Administrator Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Blood and Injury, Clay | Dream Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Hurt, Hurt Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Long-Haired Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Medical Procedures, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Relationship Discussions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29681547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteBeakedRaven/pseuds/WhiteBeakedRaven
Summary: Things haven't been going great for Dream. Really haven't.Still weakened, wounded and alone in his part of the world, Dream attempts to gather some more resources for the next few steps to get back on his feet. During which a lucky find brings him face to face with a very familiar figure.
Relationships: -mentioned - Relationship, Clay | Dream & DreamXD (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF) & Everyone
Series: of freedom and chains [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2171616
Comments: 22
Kudos: 307





	Split minds think alike

**Author's Note:**

> Part three is here!  
> Once again a big thank you for the positive reception my drabbles have received, you guys are great!  
> Also a big thank you at @isaamsmrts on Tumblr/ izzine on ao3, for helping and motivating me so immensely.
> 
> Please heed the tags and enjoy!

There was an arrow in his leg.

Deep enough that even with all the running from the piglins he had done, it hadn’t fallen out. Rather, it seemed to have moved deeper into his flesh with every lumbering step he had taken. An illusion that hadn’t been helped by the fact that he had to break off the shaft, as to not be hindered by it.

So yeah, Dream had an arrow in his thigh.

The blood had pooled in one of his iron boots during his running and now, while sitting on his bed back in his base, it had also begun to create inconspicuous spots on his already dark pants.

Dream groaned with frustration and pain. Why did nothing ever seem to work out?

He had experience in the Nether. Hell, he had conquered its most dangerous biomes easily, sometimes with no armor at all. And his portal hadn’t even deposited him in a soul sand valley, the most likely location to be shot, given its annoying combination of a lot of skeletons and large patches of soul sand. No, his portal had linked him up with a normal crimson forest.

But maybe, just maybe, forgoing any and all golden armor hadn’t been the smartest. He had become too accustomed to the protection his netherite armor set had offered, not even thinking about having to strap on some golden boots.

Maybe, just maybe, he had forgotten the state his body was in. The trust he had had in his old abilities and strength overshadowing his inherent need for preparation. Overshadowing his normal caution, since he had dealt with the Nether often enough that his weakened form hadn’t seemed like such a big deal.

And maybe, just maybe, the cloying smell of ash and smoke, coupled with the natural heat of the Nether and the insane amount of bubbling lava had made his mind jump around like a scared rabbit, making his arms tremble with every step and letting him only take shallow breaths while he had been there.

Complete concentration and a lot of effort had been needed to just keep him moving, forget him having the same old situational awareness and reaction time that had saved his skin so many times in the past.

So yeah, Dream hadn’t had the best of times in literal hell, surprise surprise.

He had just been fighting a hoglin or two, intent on securing maybe a bit more provision, when it had all gone to shit. Blocking dangerous tusks with his shield, while waiting for the opportune time to strike with his axe, the arrow had completely blindsided him.

Only the sudden pain from the side of his thigh, let him notice the piglin hunting party that had shown up on the crest of the red hill on the left of him. A sudden shot of adrenaline had given him the clarity needed to notice in how much danger he was in.

He had decided to run.

Fleeing had involved limping from the pissed of piglins and the angry hoglins he had wounded, weaving between red stems and hanging red vines and turning around and blocking with his shield whenever he heard the tell-tale sounds of loaded crossbows.

In-between the sprinting and blocking, he had had just enough time to break the arrow-shaft, to prevent any outside force from driving it deeper into his leg, when stumbling as fast as possible through the crimson fungus to his portal.

He had made it out without further bigger injuries. Only to sit here now with half an arrow still buried in his flesh.

Dream sighed deeply. He knew what he had to do, but it wouldn’t be pretty. With a tightly curled pit of dread in his stomach, in anticipation of the extra pain he would certainly soon suffer, he prepared everything.

His pants were carefully removed, minding the injured limb, revealing the wound fully for the first time. It looked so inconspicuous, a bit of wood sticking out of a bleeding hole in his skin that was almost the perfect size for it. The hindrance it was and would be, seemed almost laughable in comparison.

The furnace, which had been moved outside since the incident of the last night, was relocated back inside at his feet. He stoked it carefully, very aware of the crackling of its flames and the small plumes of smoke it released. The artificial waterfall that he had expanded upon since the night before, as to not perpetually flood his room, gurgled happily behind him. It brought him some comfort that he dearly needed.

His iron pickaxe was put directly into the flames. He would have a use for it later.

Next, he put a strap of leather between his teeth, leftovers from his scouring the day before. Taking a small hunting knife that he had cleaned extensively beforehand, Dream went to work.

The process wasn’t pretty, but removing arrows, especially the arrowheads, never was. He had to dig into his own flesh in an attempt to get it out, grunting and whimpering in pain as he caused himself harm. Blood started to flow in rivulets, tears escaping his eyes.

This would have been easier if someone were here to help.

But Dream managed alone. With a clatter he let the arrow and his hunting knife drop to the stony ground, hands coated in crimson. He was panting through his leatherstrip and his whole body trembled without stopping.

Before anything else could happen, Dream removed the iron pick from the furnace and pressed its one glowing hot pointed end into his heavily bleeding wound. A hissing filled the air, together with the smell of cooked meat, as a broken muffled scream echoed inside the stone room.

The pick was also dropped clattering to the ground.

Dream wasn’t lucky enough to fall unconscious, riding out the burning pain with a dizzy vision and the taste of iron on his tongue.

At least the glowstone blocks lighting up his room had been worth it.

\-----

After that not so nice experience, Dream decided to go mining.

He needed more materials as fast as possible. And the best way would be to get access to his ender chest and the heaps upon heaps of useful things and materials he had stored in it. Only, he had none of the materials needed to craft one.

And with his damaged leg he wouldn’t limp after any enderman or blazes any time soon, not until it had healed enough.

So, mining it was.

His goals were two things. One, diamonds. Always good to have and he could craft a pick to at least get the obsidian needed for an ender chest.

Two, gold. For less danger in the Nether and to craft some golden apples. If he had a gapple, its regeneration would take care of the wound within seconds, opening up other possibilities that were now barred.

All the other materials he could gather while mining were certainly not unwelcome and would probably be put to good use in the long run, but those two were his main priorities right now.

Before he however began with his descent into the deep bowels of the earth, Dream had to craft with some apprehension a lot of torches. Looking at the half a stack of torches in his inventory, an idea came to mind.

He took the last of his left-over wool and brought it to the crafting table. Normally its crafting recipes were limited, all other objects having to be created manually the old-fashioned way. However, this was his world, meaning some rules could be slightly bent by him.

Focusing hard on what Dream wanted out of this, he placed the wool on the wooden surface of the table, letting some of his admin magic flow into it. The new object slowly and certainly took shape. Rough wool became fine thread, became fabric, finally taking shape as a white scarf-like cloth.

He took it from the crafting table, wrapping its short length around his neck and pulling up a specific part of it to cover his mouth and nose. The scarf-like mask fit perfectly, feeling soft and cool on his skin. The intention behind it was to cover the lower half of his face, to hopefully block out the strongest part of the smell of smoke.

And it somehow felt reassuring to have something to cover his face with again.

He used an ink sack he had gathered, from a mindless squid that had accidentally stranded itself, to colour it a nice shade of black.

Then he began his new mineshaft.

\-----

He didn’t know how long he had stayed down in the crust of his land.

The rhythmic cracking and breaking of stone was soothing. It helped against the bit of smoke that sometimes leaked through his facemask, which had been dampened with respiration.

Here, his world was simply swinging and mining, sorting out what he pried out of the stone walls and limping the bit of path he had carved. Every half chunk or so leaving a torch behind to keep the mobs away.

And if he heard a lava lake, he always had his water bucket ready to immediately turn it into another plate of obsidian, that he promptly ignored in favour of searching the walls for minerals and ores and then swiftly mining further.

Having no sleep schedule to speak of meant he could go on day and night, taking his fill of the energy he needed to sustain himself from the world around him. But it also meant he had no reference of time and crafting a clock just seemed wasteful of the gold ores he had gathered. And maybe he was a bit wary of what the object and the sound of its ticking might do to him.

Furthermore, he seemed to have gotten lucky with his straight tunneling, having secured a bit more than half a stack of diamonds in his time down here and that without a fortune pickaxe. Other minerals and ores also weren’t lacking.

Crafting a diamond pick and getting the obsidian he needed, shoving it as fast as possible into his inventory, was a piece of cake because of this.

He sadly had left his apples up top and making another furnace to smelt the gold seemed to be too dangerous in his enclosed tunnels, so Dream kept on limping his way around. It wasn’t too bad, the small twinges of pain from his bandaged thigh every other step becoming another rhythm for him.

So, all in all it was going reasonably well.

Until Dream broke a block and instead of seeing another grey surface behind it, he found darkness. A cave seemed to greet him with the echo of breaking stone, it petering out into silence.

Now, a day ago Dream would have blocked off the opening, holding fast to the decision he had had on the first day of his freedom, that caves might be too much for him at the moment. He would then have either continued his mining spree or finally returned to the surface.

However, Dream's confidence had grown in the last few days he had spent in almost constant semi-darkness. He had been in the Nether, surviving the experience almost okay and the last however many hours had calmed and reassured him in his ability to not screw up everything he touched.

And also, in the last reaches of his flickering torchlight he could see the revealing glimmer of diamonds.

Which is why he took the risk and opened up his tunnel, entering the cave, cautiously looking around and listening for any dangers. Seeing and hearing none he limped over to the vein and began mining it swiftly.

There were a lot of diamonds. Nine in total.

A light giddiness while freeing the minerals from their stone prisons set in. He carefully pocketed every single one of them, adding them in his inventory to their brethren. Now he certainly had enough for everything he needed.

Something akin to a smile came to Dream's lips.

Only to immediately vanish at the sounds of bones clacking and the scuffing of footsteps.

Just give him a break.

At least he might finally be able to secure a bow, maybe some arrows for himself as well. Still slightly annoyed, Dream turned around and peered into the darkness, taking his axe out of his inventory and into his hand.

Abruptly his body grew stiff, as he was confronted with the green smile of a creeper. The creature was only four blocks away from him, closing in silently.

Dream stumbled back, desperate to get some distance, scrambling to change the torch in his offhand into a shield. His heart started racing way to fast for just the sudden appearance of the mob.

The form and colour reminded him of something. Someone. Someone bad. Someone he had to get away from, he had to run from. Someone who would never show him mercy. Someone who would keep him, restrain him, break him…

Darkness quickly swamped him, as the torch was replaced with a shield. Despite knowing that the shield would be enough to let him survive, he still backed up haltingly, sweat starting to pool under his mask.

The Warden was bad, bad, bad. He should obey, he just had to obey, or hunger and pain and restraints would follow.

He just had to get away.

Dreams back collided with a smooth stone surface. His escape was blocked off.

A sudden desperation took hold of him and with as much power as his still healing body contained, he swung down onto the source of his fear. He tapped into everything he had, throwing all of it into this one attempt of dissent. Energy crackled over his arm, as his iron axe gained an unearthly glow.

With a thunk its blade embedded itself deep into the head of the despicable hissing creature, as with a sudden pop a power was abruptly released. The creeper was suddenly flung far away from Dream, fire crackling over its body. It impacted the wall of the far end of the cave, lighting up his way back there, revealing the skeleton Dream had originally heard.

It didn’t even reach the floor, already turned into gunpowder and ash.

Dream hastily breathed in and out, feeling his desperate admin magic dissipate around his blade, robbing him of a good chunk of energy.

He switched his axe out for some cobblestone, quickly sectioning himself off from the rest of the cave, needing a minute to calm down. Placing a single torch down to light up his newly created room, he put his hands on his knees and bent over, taking deep breaths of oxygen.

He needed to be even more wary of creepers now it seemed.

His eyes flickered briefly to the stone he had backed into, looking away, realising and looking back fully. Those were stone bricks.

“What?”, Dream said abruptly. Voice scratchy from disuse.

Those really were stone bricks.

“Oh come on! You’re kidding me”, disbelief heavy in his tone.

He had just accidentally found a stronghold. By mining.

Dream stared at those stone bricks. “What are the chances?”, he mumbled, still unbelieving.

A sigh left his lips, as another realization set in: “I can’t go in”. He had never been to one in this world before. He had never gotten the achievement.

If he wanted to stay hidden, he wasn’t allowed to set one foot inside.

Something akin to disappointment coalesced in his gut. The one time he got lucky since his escape and he couldn’t even take advantage of it. It wasn’t even really luck then. Just another show of how limited Dream had become in his actions. It stung.

Bitter he took quick stock of himself. He was back in working order, as far as was to be expected. It was time to go. There was nothing here for him.

He just lifted his pickaxe, to mine his way out, when he froze again.

Admin magic, tinted strongly with the taste of the End, swamped his little room, as his own voice spoke to him from behind: “Leaving so soon?”

Dream slowly let his pickaxe fall back to his side. He took a deep breath, before turning around.

“Hi XD. Long time no see”, he greeted the floating figure before him.

“True, it has been a while”, the man clad in a flowing light blue mantle with patches of the night sky agreed. “You’ve been very busy since you split me off, Dream.”

Even though the figure was floating more than a block off the ground, his mask was on even height with Dreams head. The shorter’s mask was similar to his old one, only, instead of being decorated with a smiley face, this one sported a black x, looking like scratch marks, where the right eye should be located. This was followed up with a half-circle formed hole on the left side, that looked similar to a D, leaving the rest of the white mask material blank.

Through the hole a glowing purple eye was staring at Dream.

It didn’t scare him in the least. He knew that his eyes would also glow according to which realms energy he used to complete his magic. A flash of glowing green and blue for the Overworld, flickering red and orange for the Nether and of course swirling purple with specklings of white and black for the End.

“I was kept busy XD. I didn’t really have much say in it”, Dream finally said, after taking in the others' appearance. This really was a strange situation to be in. “And how was it on your end? I haven’t seen any concerning achievements pop up, so that’s good.”

“Oh nothing much. Our friends seem to have at least some respect for our last rule. That, or world transfer has made all of them forget about the End and the way to reach it.” A slight chuckle escaped the white masked figure. “Although… I had a very interesting time with our resident anarchist and the long-term survivalist.”

Dream lifted one of his eyebrows. “What have Techno and Phil done?”, he asked, slightly concerned.

“You won’t believe it.”

“What did they do?”, he asked again, now getting exasperated.

An unearthly chuckle echoed in the small room. “They-They turned a portal into a table”, XD brought out, while giggling loudly. “A fucking table”, he repeated.

“You can’t be serious...” Now both of Dream eyebrows were pulled up.

“I am!” The taller continued to stare at his smaller counterpart, seemingly unimpressed. XD tried again, an idea striking him: “I really am! Wait, just see for yourself.” A brighter flash of purple was seen in the one visible eye.

Images invaded Dreams' mind. He saw his rival and the winged man through someone else’s eyes. Well, they were technically still Dreams eyes. He watched, with building disbelief the actions of the two. To think that those two had been affected in this way by the world jump.

A laugh suddenly escaped his lips, as he heard their plans for the indestructible blocks. For the supposed summoning circle. He laughed harder, watching those two try to explain the sudden presence of XD, who was so free as to annotate himself as the protector. When it finally came to the point where XD hit Technoblade over the head with a summoned netherite sword, playfully insulted by the half-piglins words, Dream was full out wheezing with laughter.

The memory ended but sounds akin to a boiling tea kettle continued to fill the room for a bit. Tears stood in Dreams eyes and he was gasping for breath by the end of his laughing spell, giggles intermittently disrupting him.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed like this. It was nice.

“I haven’t heard you laugh like that in a while Dream”, the excited voice of the smaller one said.

“True, true”, Dream coughed into his fist, breathing almost under control again. A smile still stretched over his lips. “As said, I have been pretty busy.”

“Busy playing the villain you mean.”

The smile disappeared from Dreams lips abruptly. He stared at the split off part of himself. “Their words, not mine”, he answered, all humour gone.

“Hhmm, certainly. But you’ve stopped defending yourself against the title. I mean, recently you've even played into it.” The blue figure floated closer to his originator. “And you played it so wonderfully as well! They all hate you now!”, he spoke with a serious but still light voice.

“Everything I did was for the best. L’manberg caused too much pain, it needed to be gone. There- there just was too much strife around it”, Dream said, voice slightly agitated.

The smaller incarnation started gliding around Dream. A questioning: “Is that so?”, coming from his hidden lips.

Words began to pour out of Dream, bottled grief and frustration flowing with it. “It split everyone apart and for what? A few chunks of land? Those-those belong to us! They always have and always will. All that propaganda for freedom and righteousness. They always had freedom! They always had! I never took it from them! I only tried to stop Wilbur from creating an illegal drug ring and now look where that has brought us.”

DreamXD reiterated: “We were the mediator, we could have stopped it without all of the violence. You’re the Admin, you had literally all of the power.”

“Of course! Let’s use the literal ability to control the lands they stand on to stop them! Definitely doesn’t sound like something a tyrant would do. Like something they would have been fearful and angry about. I still wanted them to be my friends!” Another memory suddenly came to Dream. He went on: “And you know I tried. Remember the first time Tommy came to these lands. I teleported him away to keep him from causing harm. Just a little bit of power and they all had been weird around me for days after that. And a fat lot of good that did as well! He didn’t learn! He never seems to learn!”

“Of course not, he’s young. Let him develop himself”, XD answered.

“What do you think we did? You were there when I let him get off easy with every little skirmish he caused. And then Wilbur came with his drug scheme and just took our land and kept us out of it. Us and half of our world.” Dreams breath already came in short angry bursts. In an attempt to get air easier he pulled down his black facemask.

Another angry spark at all the memories that were being brought up went through him. “The war was to get back what was rightfully ours, to give everyone the freedom to all our lands that Wilbur so proudly proclaimed we never gave. He literally didn’t allow half of our friends that. He didn’t, not me. And still he claimed I was a tyrant. I never tried to control them and back then I still had all my power!”

XD had disappeared from Dreams direct line of sight, having floated behind him. Even though he never would have allowed that with other people, the Admin stayed in his place. He at least had this much trust in himself.

As soon as the shorter one slowly flew back in sight, having almost finished his circle around Dream, XD spoke again: “And afterwards you just decided to take a part of yourself, give it an actual form and almost all your power, just to protect one measly rule.” Something akin to pain was heard in his otherwise calm voice.

Dream understood it. He shivered at the memory of his actions, the agony of taking something so intricate from himself and giving it a physical body. But it had been worth it. It had. He hadn’t for nothing created a hole in his magic, that ached to be filled with its original contents again. He hadn't created XD for nothing, limiting himself in the workings of his own world.

To cover his thoughts, he scoffed loudly. “Oh, don’t be like that. We both saw how the people were developing. Imagine that in all their strife they had access to elytras and shulkers. We would have been torn apart even more.”

The sentient piece of his literal power reiterated immediately. “Then why not just tell them that it hurts us, whenever they bring destruction to our lands. That it pains us, when they mistrust and betray each other. That we can taste the poison of all their lies, and we choke on it. Why not just tell them the torture we have to go through, with every major conflict?”  
With a softer voice he added: “That you have to go through, since you are so much more connected to these lands than I...”

Dream rolled his eyes. Wasn’t it obvious why he never told anyone?

“Because then we would be different. And it would never work for long. Eventually they would use it as a weakness, just like they did with Spirits remains”, he explained.

“They are our friends, surely they can understand!”

That statement loosened something in the Admin.

“They don’t, that’s the problem. Just look at what happened to our closest. George and Sapnap left, due to the words of others, even when I told them face to face that I still loved them. Punz betrayed me for some diamonds and gold. Sam put me in prison, while Bad, Callahan and everyone watched! Tubbo was the one president I had hope in, the one! Only to let himself be turned into a puppet and convinced into executing me by his very own cabinet!”, Dream ranted.

The loosened feeling felt close to something like grief. Dream ignored it, as well as his slightly blurry vision. It wasn’t important.

XD, if he noticed it, didn’t hold back. “Well, you tried to kill Tubbo! I know you since I am you and still I can't fully understand why you threatened that!”

Now that was a can of worms Dream didn’t look forward to opening. His thoughts and feelings back then had been a right mess. Not that they were any better now.

He tried to keep it simple. “To show Tommy that actions have consequences. That luck won’t always save you. That if you aren’t careful, you can lose all you care for within seconds. To teach him a lesson!”, just like Dream had learned, time and time again.

He went on: “And do you really think I would have left Tubbo dead? I had the book, so bringing him back would have been easy. Just another death of the countless ones we all on this server suffer daily!”

Dream's counterpart was now in front of him again. “So, let’s just traumatize some more kids. Like you did with Tommy? Don’t think I didn’t feel how much you hated yourself for every silvery word you spoke”, despite the harsh words his tone remained calm.

Dream didn’t like it. To be confronted with that inflection in his very own voice. To be shown a mirror of everything he had done.

“Of course I hate myself! I took what they taught me, what they did to me, only to throw it on Tommy.” A slight tremble went through him at the mention of those dark past figures.  
He steeled himself quickly, adding: “But he would have come out better! He really would have! No more starting discord, no more stealing and senseless killing. No more stupid attachments to some pieces of plastic. Peace would have been an option finally!”

He had believed that, hadn’t he? Why else would he have decided to take that route? Why else would he have done what he did? He did what was necessary. What needed to be done.

Right?

Being a literal piece of Dream, XD picked up on the hints of doubt slowly developing in his originator. There might be a thick layer of magic keeping the two separated, but not all connections could be broken. Could never be truly cut.

“By manipulating and gaslighting a kid?”, XD asked softly.

“Yes”, Dream answered, despite the turmoil and uncertainty rolling in his mind.

XD hummed. “He’s a child…”

Dream cut him off. “We were younger than him and look, it made us stronger!”

“Isolating and brainwashing him still wasn’t the answer.”

“Could you think of a better one? Nothing else had worked until now. It had worked for Wilbur and him, so why couldn’t I do it as well?” He hadn’t been the first who had manipulated the boy. And maybe Tommy would have learned from the experience, never letting what happened between the two brothers happen to him again.

And if the change had been too much? If people had noticed the difference? If they had left, being faced with a stranger?

Well: “He would have seen how easy it is for everyone to just leave him and let him rot alone in solitude”, Dream added.

“Like they did with you.”

“Yes, exactly!" A short pause. "Wait, no. That’s-that’s wrong.” Dream stumbled over his words. He tried to fix his misslip. “He wouldn’t have been completely alone! I would have been there.”

The blue figure had started calmy bobbing up and down in front of Dream, like the bobber of a fishing rod in the gentle waves of a lake. If out of some kind of emotion, his words didn’t show.

“So that you weren’t alone finally either?”, XD asked softly.

“No, that’s not the reason. We are fine alone.”

“Are we?”, he asked again.

“Yes”, Dream said with conviction.

“When was the last time you slept?”

He scoffed. “I don’t need sleep”

XD stilled in the air. His head tilted slightly, just like a dog finding something interesting. He retorted: “You do, and you are just hurting yourself more with every night not sleeping.”

“I’m fine”, the Admin replied sharply.

Finally, something other than the underlying soothing tone entered XDs words. His inflection became hard and slightly exasperated. “You most certainly are not! When was the last time you looked in a mirror?”

Dream only scoffed again as an answer. He didn’t need to see himself. He was doing fine. Just fine.

Abruptly the Admin took a step back, as he was confronted with a face in front of him, the feeling of his own magic tinted with the End in the air.

The face looked haggard and pale. Patches of light red burn scars decorating his chin, right cheek, and the skin over by his left eye. The skin was sunken in at his cheeks, pronouncing the sharp edge of his outstanding cheek bones. A very light scruff of thin blond hairs tried very hard to create the beginnings of a beard, only to be almost unnoticeable in the grand scheme of things.

Long dirty blond hair was kept in a hazardous bun, stray hairs escaping everywhere, giving it the impression of a bird’s nest. Long and short scar cuts from many past fights, almost unnoticeable after so many respawns, decorated the skin further. Some even reached down to his neck, only to be covered by a black scarf. The biggest and most pronounced scar however, being the one that ran tilted over the bridge of his nose. It split the splattering of freckles on the faces cheeks in half.

But most noticeable were the eyes. Emerald green with a splotch of golden brown around the pupils, reflected the flickering light of the torch akin to the eyes of a haunted dead man. Underneath, the sharp contrast of pale skin and impressive purpling dark eye bags, strengthened that impression.

Dream actually took a moment to recognize himself. That was his face. His scars. His hair and his hopeless looking eyes. That was him.

He stared for a bit. Took in every stray detail.

He had changed.

He had changed a lot.

Then he pushed the floating mirror, summoned by his counterpart, to the side. Without a sound the reflective surface disappeared, having fulfilled its purpose. The strength of the admin magic lessened.

“Tommy looked worse in exile”, Dream muttered, after a moment of silence.

“Hmm, maybe. But that is open for discussion.” Suddenly, a fingersnap sounded from XDs figure. Due to his hands being covered by the poncho like mantle, its source couldn’t be seen. “That actually brings me to my next point. Why is it always Tommy you focus on? Sapnap has caused almost as much chaos as him.”

“Sapnap at least listened to me”, Dream grumbled out as an answer.

“Like he oh so clearly did when you told him that you loved him.” The relaxed tone made the punch that statement brought not any lighter.

Aggravated Dream pushed XD, who had floated way too close for comfort, from him. “Oh, leave him alone, it's Sapnap!”, he defended during the action.

It was the first direct contact between the two.

Abruptly, both figures froze. The taste of magic lingered way too heavy in the air, as both of them felt the strings that connected them tighten. Slowly and surely, those thin threads tried to pull in the smaller of the two, intent on bringing the broken off piece back to its original place. Back to Dream himself.

Two types of the same admin magic flared in intensity in the small cavern, one heavy with the End, the other overflowing with the Overworld. Both incarnations of the same person tried frantically to strengthen the magic keeping the two apart.

The magnetic pull of both sides lessened. Only to weaken back to its original drag. It would never become less than this, the wish to become whole again existing for as long as they were apart. The magic from both sides ebbed their flow.

Dream panted thanks to the whole ordeal, his energy almost drained once again. XD however seemed untouched, having inherited almost all of the Admins reserves.

He was also the first to speak again, tone wistful now: “We really do love our friends way too much for our own good. So much, that we do harmful things to ourselves and let them do almost anything to us.”

Dream only grunted non-committedly in between his attempts to get air in his lungs. He could feel the start of a headache approaching. At least this time the nosebleed had been left out.

XD just went on, tilting his head again in question. “And why always add new people onto this world? The more there are, the less control we will ever have. And the more they hurt us. Or are you just that hopeful?”

“Shut up”, came the choked out answer.

“You actually still are.” A sad inflection flowed into XDs voice. “We always were the too optimistic type. You think, hey, maybe this acquaintance will see what is going on, hey, maybe this one will help you set things right, maybe this one will fix things. Maybe this one will stay your friend…”

Memories of Puffy, cleaning up the land and the leftovers of countless fights came to mind. Her work soothing many of the hidden hurts of him and his world. Hannah recently also taking up this mantle.

Of Eret and Foolish, building impressive structures that no one else had attempted, giving him pride in allowing them onto his lands and decorating it with their time and care. Finally building something truly incredible instead of just destroying and destroying...

“You believe, since Tommy, one person, started the domino effect of hurt and chaos, maybe one person might finally stop it…”

Ranboo, half a friend and half a stranger, being the only one to talk to him in the depths of the night. Being the only one to share his view of what was ruining his precious world, the only one else seeing the discord everyone’s squabbles caused.

“Well it is my hope, so-so it should be yours as well”, Dream said, having almost caught his breath again, head slowly pounding in the rhythm of his heart.

“It is. But not only for our friends sake. I hope also for our own sake”, his own soothing voice answered.

“Oh, cut it out. That high and mighty attitude doesn’t suit you. You’re maybe even more alone than me, stuck in the End as you are”, Dream bit back, annoyed.

“Mmmh, you’re partially right with the attitude. I can finally see why others don’t like it. You’re wrong on the being alone part, however. I already have a great friend who likes to spend time with me.”

Surprise showed itself openly on the Admins face.“Who? You are literally even more limited than I am! Almost all the power in the world and still you let me bind you to the End and the strongholds, only allowing you to see the rest as an invisible silent spectator,” a bit of regret seeped into his voice at the thought of being his own captor.

XD however was quick to lay those thoughts to rest. “Well, I am a part of you and you the rest of me. I don’t need all the things you need to function properly. I just don’t have the capacity to want for them.” After a short pause he continued in a calm voice: “I still seem to enjoy way more freedom than you and that thought does pain me. Feeling your feelings is the only way I can miss what I myself don’t need.”

Dream let his head hang slightly in thought. He hadn’t even considered it like that. His emotional connection with XD was kind of one-sided. He could feel and see what Dream felt and saw but, Dream just didn’t have the energy to connect back the same way. Especially when the other was in the End.

Almost as an afterthought, XD abruptly added: “Also, the Enderdragon is a lovely lady to know, maybe killing her that often had been an oversight.”

That sudden statement let a small laugh burst out of Dream's lips. “Of fucking course I would be crazy enough to befriend the dragon”, he answered, a small smile remaining on his lips.

“We really do know each other best.”

“We’re literally the same person”, the Admin responded. After a moment of silence a small: “But true, we do”, was tacked on.

A seemy comfortable moment developed in the small stone room. Both occupants taking glances at each other and thinking about what had been said.

A disappointed sigh broke Dream out of his thoughts. He looked over to his counterpart. The smaller still floated in the air, but his body language seemed almost dejected.

“It seems my time with you has to come to an end. Any longer and the magic separating us might truly fail.”, he said, a slight sadness contained in his words.

Dream could also feel it, now that it had been brought to his attention. The tugging had grown in strength again. The magical barrier between them thinning ever so slightly with every moment spent in the other's company. Something like disappointment curled in his gut.

The floating figure continued: “I look forward to finally being united again. Think about what I said. You really have to take a harder look at yourself, before you can go back to the mainland. Just maybe don’t take too long sorting yourself out. I don’t really want to come back to a land that has changed too much.”

With those words XD turned around, heading for the stone brick wall that had started all of this. Only to abruptly stop.

A moment went by. Dream tilted his head in question.

Magic flooded the chamber for the utmost time and again, without a sound an object suddenly appeared and landed clattering in front of Dreams feet.

It was a white mask, painted with a black smiley face. The edges were scuffed with indents, and a fine break line went from the top left side of it only to disappear not even halfway through the slightly dirty white material.

That was Dream's mask.

The Admins head snapped up, as XD spoke again: “Thought you might like it back.”

Then he melted into the wall, taking the last traces of the End and its energy with him. He was gone.

He didn’t even see the silent gratitude shining in those slightly less dead eyes. But he certainly felt it.

\-----

It took until Dream was back in his base for him to take the mask out of his inventory again.

He had stored all his spoils from the long mining trip, taking some of it to craft a golden apple. The familiar metallic bittersweet of the shining fruit had tasted oh so good, as the regeneration effect washed over his body, healing many of his wounds and scrapes. He had focused most of the effect however on his leg, finally closing the burned hole in his thigh, leaving only a faint pink puckered scar.

The next few minutes had been filled with Dream running and jumping around in his carved room, enjoying having his mobility back.

Only then did Dream take out his white mask again.

He moved his fingers almost reverently over its surface and edges, feeling all the familiar nicks and scratches. It really was his mask. Dream didn’t question how XD had gotten it back.

With slightly trembling fingers, he placed it on his face and fastened the strap behind his head.

It felt like another piece of himself was back.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact, I have never seriously tried my hand at writing dialogue in this language!  
> So, constructive criticism is very welcome.
> 
> Also, tell me what you think in the comments down below, it makes my day!
> 
> Part four is already hard in the works and I can tell you, it's gonna be hot...  
> Have a great day ;)


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